Did you know that not all parents instantly fall in love with their newborn baby?
The new parent must feel really horrible, and guilty about it. Especially when there’s a hype from everyone else and every other new parent seems to experience this immediate connection with their baby.
I feel similarly with Qur’an. I think there’s an unrealistic expectation that you’ll experience this overwhelming emotional connection to it. When we first started translating Surah Baqarah I felt annoyed to be honest; annoyed that the Yahūd were mentioned so much in our Qur’an.
I was told I’ll cry everyday. I didn’t. I cried once in class – for the whole year. That was it.
Someone once likened it to meeting a new person, with some people you feel an instant connection yet with others it takes a while, maybe a good couple of meetings, to get to know them before you form a bond. If you found an instant connection with Qur’an, say Alhamdulillah to the nth degree. But this post goes out to those who haven’t quite felt it. Yet. Especially to those who feel guilty or feel like there’s something wrong with them. Don’t give up. Keep going back. Again and again.
I went to class every day regardless. And then one day, smack bam! This one ayah just hit me. I said I only cried once in class. But once was all I needed. It was a life-defining moment.
I yearn for every ayah to feel like that. Like Allah is speaking directly to me. Like every ayah was revealed just for me. But it doesn’t. Not yet anyway.
Memorising and review (what I’m currently in the midst of) can become monotonous.
30 ajzaa later, I’m still struggling.
So I advise myself, before anyone else, once again: don’t give up. Ever.
I pray that Allah SWT softens our hearts and grants us to truly experience His āyāt to the core of beings and into the depths of our lives. May we one day enter Jannatul Firdous and experience Allah SWT telling us: