I am inspired by the blog series “3 for sunnah” by Umm Raiyaan of Sisters Achieve, where every Monday she shares something she’s either read, studied, experienced, discovered, learnt, lost, gained, loved and hated! Deen and dunya! 

So I’m inspired to start my own blog series, where I’ll be sharing a post at the end of every month. As this month draws to a close, I encourage you to take a moment and reflect on it. 

Something I discovered:

I started teaching a new student today, so in order to determine her learning style, I emailed her an article which included the link to a quiz. I decided to take the quiz myself, expecting to be categorized as the visual learner I thought I was, but lo and behold, I’m actually a read/write learner! This means that I have a strong preference for learning by reading and writing. Well what do ya know?! 

Something I read:

The book I read this month was “A Second Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul.” I couldn’t put it down. I absolutely love those inspiring, heart-warming stories that move me to tears and make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Aaaawww..

Something I learned:

I love watching Oprah’s life class on YouTube in my free time, and this month, I came across one about daddyless daughters. It was deep. I learned to forgive myself for the things that I believed about myself and the things I did as a result of my father not being there. It was such a revelation. Some might think that I’m oversharing, but this is my healing. Just yesterday I learned, or rather was reminded, that your whole life is a divine plan! SubhanAllah aka lightbulb moment when you surrender wholeheartedly. 

Something I came to realise:

I’m getting better at practicing non-judgment, Alhamdulillah. I came know this because at an MSA workshop last weekend and I was speaking to a girl who wears a turban and before it used to really irk me, but it doesn’t anymore. I got to know her and find out how much empathy she has for even people on the street, how much incomparable good she’s done, what amazing character she has and I felt ashamed of myself. 

On that note, the topic of MSA executive members who don’t wear Hijaab came up. I opened up about how judgmental I used to be of them, thinking that “they’re supposed to be leaders and role models etc etc.” but now I think it’s cool that we have girls who aren’t in Hijaab yet. Other girls might find them relatable and join MSA too and be guided closer to Allah through it. Who knows?

Furthermore, today I heard another story about monster-in-laws who are practicing Muslims who pray and wear niqab and the whole nine yards, yet are so cold. No man. Islam is relationships. It’s empathy. 
Something I heard:

If someone’s test comes to your attention, it is now your test: what are you going to do about it? 

Something I contemplated:

“…more and MORE Muslim practising couples are falling out of love. Worse still, the love wasn’t there to begin with. It seems most married with their heads hoping their hearts would follow. Is it possible for a practising Muslim man and woman to marry for love and for that love to grow into something wonderful?” -Umm Raiyaan, Sisters Achieve. 

Just last night one of my brothers asked me something to the effect that in today’s tough times, why can’t women see marriage merely as a contract with mutual benefits? Basically marrying with their heads, not their hearts. I think that while the concept seems logical and viable, women are far too emotional to accept that. But upon further thought, the purpose of marriage is far beyond that. 

A practicing Muslim, niqabi sister and her halal bae are head over heals in love with each other even though they are not dating. I’m personally strict about limiting communication during the engagement period so in my view, they’re crossing the line, but this quote leads me to believe that they’ll have a marriage filled with love, as opposed to me trusting I’ll fall in love after getting married – which may or may not happen. 

I think that there needs to be physical attraction, and some feelings will inevitably creep in, but I still don’t believe you should be in love. And Allah knows best. 

Something random I experienced 

I am utterly intrigued by dancing, especially ballroom dancing, and I’m amazed at the incredible rhythm, strength and stamina Allah SWT blessed dancers with. Above that, I find their intense passion exhilarating. So last week I was reciting to my teacher fluently, with so much passion I had an Argentian tango going on in my head. “This must be what it feels like to dance,” I thought. I wondered if abstaining from dancing in this world and reciting Qur’an would lead me to be a dancer in Jannah (Paradise) one day.