All praise and thanks are due to Allāh (SWT), who blessed us with the Glorious Qur’ān. Abundant salutations be upon our beloved teacher and role model, the first haafidh, Nabi Muhammad (SAW).
“We always know we are close to our true mission on earth when what we are doing is touched with the energy of enthusiasm.” – Paulo Coelho.
i was really looking forward to
This is one post that really should have been posted last year already! It’s been a month since I tammatted (graduated), subhanAllah.
The morning arrived of D-Day, the Crowning Glory, the Finale. I overslept for suhur and tahajjud – I had put off my alarm and went back to sleep. Like, really now?! (embarrassed face). At least I made Fajr in time and renewed my intention that I’d be fasting (regardless of suhur). I made two raka’aat of salaatul haajah and got ready.
I felt really anxious because I didn’t feel prepared enough but there was nothing I could do at that point but trust Allah. Before I left, my aunty recited and blew over me, and advised me to recite the du’a of Nabi Musa (A.S.). It helped a little bit, Alhamdulillah.
When I entered the door of the masjid and greeted one of my friends/students of deen, I just burst into tears and cried. I chunked – as I would say in the more expressive language of slang Afrikaans. I cried for many reasons at once. I was overwhelmed and was trying to keep myself together but seeing her triggered deep emotion in me. I felt so honoured that she had made the effort to be there for me when I hadn’t even personally invited her. It was also a reminder of how far I have come since my Jahiliyyah days, subhanAllah.
When I calmed down, I walked futher into the masjid and saw my fellow tamatees (graduates). I was the last to arrive and was actually a little late. I missed the naseeha session our ustadh had with them. When I greeted him and asked him to fill me in, he said, “Allah chose you to be here and Allah won’t disgrace you.” Those words were enough for me and gave me the confidence that I needed.
While I was waiting for my turn to be tested, my eyes were tearing and I kept needing to wipe my nose. I think everyone thought I was going to cry and mess up my exam, but I knew I was going to be fine, bi-ith-nillah. When my turn came, I spoke to Allah. I made my niyyah that I’m reciting sincerely for His sake, and that I’m reciting to Him the way I do in my salaah.
Lo and behold, the moment I started reciting, I physically felt everything lift off me -the anxiety, the overwhelming emotions and all, Alhamdulillah. I made mistakes but I didn’t lose my train of thought, so I remained composed.
I was blessed that there was a break scheduled straight after I was done, so I could greet everyone and everyone could come to greet me right after I was done.
Afterwards, I felt the biggest relief I ever felt in my life. I’m grateful that I went through this experience and achieved what I thought I couldn’t, with the help of Allah (SWT), my teachers, parents, family and friends.
I’ll leave you with the advice I got from my Egyptian teacher who I ran into at Canal Walk: Ask Allah to accept, constantly, at all times, always.
With best wishes for your hifdh success,