3 Year Anni

Bismillah

All praises and thanks be to Allah SWT. Abundant salutations be upon His beloved Messenger SAW.

My husband said that if I told him it was my hifdh anniversary he would’ve taken me out. I didn’t want to make a big deal of it. I write this post rather reluctantly. I wouldn’t want anyone reading this to think to herself “I can’t even recite properly and look where she’s at.” So I clarify my intention and I pray that this post is a means for you to reflect on and renew your Qur’an goals InShaAllah, especially with Ramadhān around the corner.

When I completed my hifdh, I had no idea I’d be living with my husband in Egypt three years later, reciting for my third sanad & ijāza in three years.

I actually really badly wanted to study at Bayyinah Institute in the US and even got accepted there. It just wasn’t meant to be. It was devastating to me. But I’ve learned time and again that Allah doesn’t take anything away from you without replacing it with better. You really have to convince yourself that whatever Allah chooses for you is most beneficial for you. I’m currently learning conversational Arabic at Fajr Centre for the Arabic language, Alhamdulillah. I’m grateful that Allah SWT accepted my intention to study Arabic, and facilitated it for me. I encourage you to make the intention to do what you yearn to do, and leave the facilitation thereof to your Creator, Nourisher and Sustainer who only has to say “Be” if He chooses to.

Completing my hifdh is still the hardest thing I’ve done, and it remains a daily challenge. It’s so worth every moment of effort though, especially being able to open up the Qur’an anywhere and recite without mistakes, being able to teach others, and standing in Tarāwīh Salaah.

Despite it being so beautiful, I’m only human and sometimes feel lazy, in which case I watch this video for motivation. I hope that it benefits you too. If you have data issues or prefer to read, here is the transcription of the speech, Laziness and Idleness in Seeking Knowledge.

May Allah SWT forgive us for neglecting the Qur’an, and make us of the true people of the Qur’an.

You can read about my one year hifdh anniversary and two year hifdh anniversary too🙈.

With best of du’as for your worldly and Afterlife success,

Wasfeeya

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Contracep-shhhh..!

Bismillah

All praises and thanks are due to Almighty Allah SWT. Abundant salutations be upon His beloved Messenger Muhammad SAW.

Contraception: Apparently this is a private issue that I should not be posting about. But it’s nothing shameful. Care to explain to me what exactly is inappropriate about it? When I was studying the fiqh of nikaah (marriage), our teacher dedicated a whole lesson to contraception. There were both males and females in the class. Both need to know about it. Both spouses are affected by it. 

I firmly believe in family planning for various reasons:

1. I believe a baby deserves to be brought into a foundation made up of a solid relationship between their parents. When you just get married, you have a lot of learning and bonding to do with your spouse before you bring another person into your relationship. Having a baby inevitably puts strain on the marital relationship. You surely don’t have as much time for each other as you did before. Worst case scenario: If you decide to part ways, the decision won’t be affected by the baby nor will the baby be affected by the split. May Allah SWT protect our marriages🙏🙏🙏. Āmīn.

Just for the record, I don’t judge those who have babies straight away. I know some do and they’re all good, Alhamdulillah. May Allah SWT bless every marriage with understanding, happiness and success. Āmīn.

2. Bringing a soul into this world that you are responsible for nurturing is a big deal. It’s huge. And I don’t feel ready for it at this point in my life. The weight of knowing I could shape who they become weighs heavily on me. The most successful people who lived often attributed their success to their mothers. Or their parents. May Allah SWT bless our mothers and fathers who raised us to be who we are today. And may He guide us to be the best of parents. Āmīn.

3. Granted, every child comes with their own rizq, but financial planning surely helps to enhance the experience you’re able to give your child on so many levels, especially education-wise. Islamic Montessori schools aren’t affordable to everyone, but maybe with some financial planning beforehand, it would be. Apparently wealthy people in Cape Town apply to Bishops (CT’s best private school) when they find out they’re pregnant! That’s a bit extreme, but it highlights the value placed on excellent education. Not just primary school and high school but planning your child’s education until university and beyond. Starting an education fund is an idea. When one of my family members had a baby, my brother didn’t buy a baby outfit or blanket as a gift, he gave them some cash to start an education fund for the baby. (They didn’t take it seriously, and they’re struggling with this education issue a few years down the line). May Allah SWT ease the financial burdens of us all and place tons of barakah in our rizq, and increase us in all forms of rizq. Āmīn.

With best of du’as for your worldly and Hereafter success,

Wasfeeya.

If you’re too shy to comment, feel free to contact me via email: wasfeeya@gmail.com or WhatsApp: +27793500024. (Females only).

Welcome to Egypt!

Bismillah

All praises and thanks be to Allah (SWT). Abundant salutations be upon His beloved Messenger Muhammad (SAW).

Egypt is not for everyone. Apparently you either hate it or love it here. I was concerned that I wouldn’t like it here, because of the negative things I heard about it back home. But by the Grace of the Almighty, I love it here! Alhamdulillah!

There are things that you have to overlook. Like professionalism and customer service is not even a thing here, let alone great customer service. People think Home Affairs in South Africa is bad. My family’s having a reunion that I’m dying to attend but there’s no ways we’re going to get our visas processed in time😩😩😩.

Last week we went to the Masarawi Institute to enrol for Qur’an classes. The administrator wasn’t in so we spoke to the substitute person. We booked morning time slots, but the next day we were told there are no morning time slots available. Welcome to Egypt!

After enrolling at the Masarawi Institute, I went to Fajr Institute for the Arabic language to start my first class, only to find out that it was already over. They changed the time without informing me. Welcome to Egypt!

With that being said, there are amazing benefits to being here. Like the most qualified Qur’an teachers in the world teaching you in the comfort of your home. Welcome to Egypt!

I’m starting to get used to my school week starting on Saturdays and ending on Wednesdays, and adjusting to the different salaah times too. Being a night person as opposed to a morning person, I love the night life over here! I’ve never seen a traffic jam at night before. The range of food outlets and fresh fruits here are to die for, and they are open until super late, which is really convenient, Alhamdulillah.

May Allah SWT grant us a blessed and beneficial stay, and accept the intentions of everyone wanting to study deen. Aameen.

With best of du’as for your worldly and Hereafter success,

Wasfeeya

Bride Brain

Bismillāhir-Rahmānir-Rahīm

All praises and thanks are due to Almighty Allah SWT. Abundant salutations be upon His Beloved messenger SAW.

I officially have Bride brain. I thought I made it up, but Future Halal Bae did a Google search and guess what? It’s a real thing!

Getting married brings about SO many things to do. It’s not just about getting a dress and a suit and securing a venue, unfortunately.

Alhamdulillah, we’ve completed 3 sessions of pre-marital counselling amidst all the running around, and we’re having a notarised marriage contact drawn up. These things are of utmost importance to me and I believe they’re really non-negotiable, no mater how little time you have. I’m grateful to our pre-marital Counsellor, Sumaya Hoosain (who can be contacted on +27 78 633 9000. Our wonderful Marriage Contract Facilitator is Fahmeda Walls (who can be contacted on +27 (84) 4333236). May Allah SWT bless them and their marriages. Āmīn.

We’ve had our fair share of DRAMA! I won’t even go there. At this point I just want our wedding to be over so we can chill on our honeymoon. I sometimes envy some of my besties for getting to have just a nikaah, MaShaAllah. May Allah increase their marriages in mawaddah (love) and rahmah (mercy). Āmīn.

We’ve met with our parents regarding wedding planning, a jeweller for my ring; our wedding videographer and photographer, the list goes on.

It doesn’t help that I’ve been irritable. I don’t know whether to blame wedding stress or the patch which I started using just over a week ago. Even though my wedding dress is not done, Im nowhere near done packing and my room is a mess, I’m leaning towards blaming the patch.

I went to the amazing Dr. Yasmin Brey for a consultation. She prescribed the patch as it is the best option for me, under my circumstances. I’m not the kind to take pills every day. I go through phases of consistently taking vitamins and omega tablets, but the consequences of skipping them is not life changing, thankfully.

Wedding planning has been spiritually depleting. It doesn’t have to be. But I’ve let myself slip. May Allah SWT forgive me and guide me.

I know that everything will turn out the way it’s meant to, whether according to our plan or not. May Allah SWT always grant us contentment with His decree. May He guide and protect our marriages and let them be blessings, not trials. Āmīn.

Remember us in your du’as.

Current Read: The Surrendered Wife

Bismillah

Current read: The Surrendered Wife. Because I believe in preparing for my marriage way better and more than for my wedding.

I now realise why marriage is so difficult. Or challenging -sometimes, at the very least. I’m someone who has something to say about everything and I’m learning that if I want a successful marriage, I’m going to have to learn to keep my mouth shut. Especially about inconsequential things. So I’m trying. It’s not about simply keeping my opinion to myself, but about relinquishing wanting to have control over everything. According to the author, Laura Doyle, what I see as wanting to help, my husband sees as controlling.

As I was reading the book, I thought about all the scenarios that played out where I had something to say. Like how I commented on the inappropriateness of my fiancé wearing bed-slippers to my house. (He had come from mosque, and they steal shoes at the mosque – for those who don’t understand why he’d wear bed-slippers to the mosque).

I had something to say about his wedding suit: It looks too casual; the collar needs to be broader. He then expressed how much he likes it. Oops. I recognised my wanting to control. So when he asked me what colour shirt and tie to wear, I restrained myself from sending him pictures I’d saved off the internet, and gave him the freedom to choose whatever he liked. Though I still wanted to see what he chose. I did not like the tie. But did I say so? Nope. I didn’t lie either. This book does not teach you to lie. I simply replied that I’m sure it will look great on him in person InShaAllah.

Interestingly, Laura Doyle explains that this need to control developed because a woman was let down at some point in her life:

Through reading this book, I intend to be an awesome wife in the very near-future, InShaAllah. I’m learning to relinquish control, pay attention to how I respond and receive graciously.

Alhamdulillah, I can’t be grateful enough to Allah SWT for blessing me with my future halal bae of incredible character. May Allah SWT guide our impending marriage. Āmīn.

Please feel free to share your marriage advices with me.

With best of du’as for your worldly and Hereafter success,

Wasfeeya

Wedding Planning with Future Halal Bae

Bismillah

I love that future halal bae is into wedding planning. He’s more on the ball than I am! Can you believe it? We’re meeting the wedding venue people tomorrow InShaAllah. We’re fortunate to have found an available wedding venue at such short notice. Apparently people usually book wedding venues a year in advance. I will not reveal the venue out of fear of gate-crashers, when I have already decided to cut down our total number of guests from four hundred to three hundred. Please don’t be offended if you’re not invited; we’re both students on a budget at this point in our lives. Maybe you’ll be invited to our future children’s weddings InShaAllah.

So we met yesterday at my house, just us, without any distracting input just yet. Coz it’s our day and it’s about what we want. We went through the nikaah program, chose our reception playlist and discussed our photoshoot spots around Cape Town. We’re fortunate to have relatively chilled parents who are supportive of our decisions. Alhamdulillah.

I initially felt like I was forced into having a big wedding that I didn’t want. Not having a wedding was not even an option for my parents. A part of me still wishes I could skip the whole wedding reception, out of doing what I believe to be most pleasing to our Creator. Even though I am a girly girl and I have been dreaming of a beautiful wedding my whole life. I mean, I had a bride Barbie doll and all. But I would prefer a small, intimate wedding, ideally at a venue called the Baronness. Since we decided on a joint reception, it’s unfortunately too small so it sadly can’t be an option.

I am starting a separate wedding blog soon InShaAllah, which will hopefully be useful to others planning their wedding too.

With best wishes for your worldly and Hereafter success,

Wasfeeya

He Saw Me on YouTube & Now We’re Getting Married

Bismillah

Halal love stories are beautiful but mine is my favourite. He saw me on YouTube and now we’re getting married. #TrueStory

Future halal bae asked me when I’m blogging again, so I started this post while waiting on my beautician this morning.

But I’m jumping the gun. Let me rewind. He came across my hifth completion video on YouTube in January last year and saw someone he knew in it, so he contacted her. She told him I’m engaged. He contacted her again in January this year, after my ambiguous Facebook post:

She again told him I’m engaged. What happened with that guy was the typical story of boy and and girl want to get married but the parents say no, finish your education first. I was expecting to get married in December last year, but then I was asked to wait, hence this Fb post. The bottom line is that it was not meant to be. Even though we both felt positive post-istikhaarah, Allah did not facilitate it, which was His way of saying no; I have better plans for you.

I saw my friend (who was in the YouTube vid) at a wedding on the 2nd of July this year, she asked me when’s “the big day”. I broke the news that I’m not getting married anymore. She was like, “why didn’t you send out a BC?” Inside joke: I send out WhatsApp broadcast messages all the time of news and events, but I didn’t send out this message. Anyway, she told me this guy’s been asking about me. I checked him out on Facebook, coz that’s the first thing you do.

I had never been more convinced that it was not going to work out, but I firmly believe in giving things a chance. And look what happened.

How did I know he was “the one”?

There were many instances for me. Firstly, I was happy with all of his answers to my questions.

Another instance I just knew was when he told me, “I don’t need you to make me happy. And I’m sure you feel the same way.” I thought to myself, “Yes! Now that’s my man!”

Another was when I did something he didn’t like, which was reason enough for him to call it off, but he overlooked it.

I could go on, but I won’t. He needs to still believe he’s the lucky one in the relationship.

Gosh I feel like this blog post is all over the show. I still need to post the list of questions we asked each other. It’s in my holiday plans to update my blog, so please be patient with me.

With best of du’as for your worldly and Hereafter success,

Wasfeeya

+27793500024

wasfeeya@gmail.com

Fallen Angel

Bismillah

All praises and thanks be to Allah. Abundant salutations be upon His and our beloved. (SAW).

Someone posted this on their WhatsApp story yesterday. I thanked them for sharing, because I really needed to see it.

I wish I came across it earlier.

Because it’s been on my mind since I came to know about it. I didn’t want to write about it because I could not fathom it. I’m sure it’s really stale news by now. But if you follow Islamic YouTube lectures and social media, you would probably have an idea of what I am referring to. I give the case the benefit of the doubt, and husnul-dhan (thinking the best about a believer), but the cloud of doubt itself shocked me.

Through this quote I came across yesterday, I realised I was so disturbed and couldn’t deal because I had attached perfection to a particular person, instead of attaching perfection to Allah SWT alone.

Yasmin Mogahed is another person who is truly gifted, I mean, she couldn’t have put it better. But instead seeing her gift, I consciously choose to see the Giver of her gift. And I ask Him to protect her always. And everyone else in a similar position. Aameen.

How to Prevent a Janāzah Turning into a Tea Party

Bismillah

All praises and thanks be to Allah SWT. Abundant salutations be upon His and our beloved SAW.

Thursday the 9th of November 2017 was a sad day for Cape Town, as it witnessed the passing of esteemed Sheikh, Imaam, father, grandfather and husband, amongst other roles. The very earth surely cried at his passing.

I encountered Sheikh Moosa, rahmatullahi alayhi, as a student of JEQ, as he always came to the hifdh completions and tamats, unless he was too ill to come. Whenever he joined the gathering, us girls would always be like “awwww he’s so cute.” (In a very old man’s type of adorableness; don’t get the wrong idea.) He was short and thin, and a little hunched over and walked with a stick. In his capacity as the President of the Board of JEQ, I remember Sheikh Moosa always making du’a for us students, especially for pious husbands for us, which I always appreciated and said “Aameen!” to.

However, this post isn’t about Sheikh Moosa, as I don’t have the right nor honour of writing about him.

I don’t know what happens in other parts of the world, but in Cape Town, both men and women go to the house of the mayyit (deceased person). Then they say a few words and make du’a for the deceased along with salawaat and/or a short thikr. The men then proceed to the masjid to perform salaatul janaazah, then go to the graveyard, while the women remain behind at the house. And what do they do? Have tea and talk. (Usually).

So Aunty Hajir Bawa always comes with her mic and speaker and starts a thikr. She said she understands that we haven’t seen each in a long time, but got everyone to quieten down and listen to her. She offered words of advice and urged the women to study deen, especially so that they can teach their children. She said that the men go off and the women remain behind and may not know what goes on. So she explained what happens at the qabr and translated parts of the talqeen, the sermon that is delivered to the deceased. And then the questioning in the grave.

This is how Aunty Hajir prevents a janāzah from turning into a tea party. In the most beautiful way.

I hope to be like Aunty Hajir when I’m far older, and be that person who brings spiritual productivity to the place, InShaAllah.

Life’s Little Joys

Sometimes, or rather most times, it is the little things that bring the most joy to my life. Actually, it’s the little things that are the big things.

Sometimes I think female cats should’ve been called bitches instead of female dogs. But I love my gorgeous cat to bits, no matter how snobby and unloveable she can be.